Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
