she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
