seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
