That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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