Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
