Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
