I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
