she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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