And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
