I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
