is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
