you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
