I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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