Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
