Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
