Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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