butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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