singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
