I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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