I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
