Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
...so i touched it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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