38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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