oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
