Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
