Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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