So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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