Im at strip club and am horny
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
