i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
