we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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