he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it was like eating out sand paper
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
