I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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