11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you had me at cake vodka
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
