So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
