Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
