At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
