So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize