I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
