break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
