hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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