shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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