no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
