They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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