If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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