My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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