My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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