yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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