It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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