I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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