Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she peed on how many people?
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
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She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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