Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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