Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
