Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
