This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
