ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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