My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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