can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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