it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
