i'm signing you up for texting rehab
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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