Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
