Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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