my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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