I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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