Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
