He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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