The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
