saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
