If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
